Lost...

I’ve been grabbed here...
Somewhere I had never imagined before...
Doing stuff I had never thought I would be...
An remote area, far from the touch.
Well...maybe I’m too hyperbolic!
Don’t ever imagine that I’m in a far away Island from Indonesia.
My existence still can be found in Indonesian territory.
I just want to make it sound complicated J
Make sense or something like that.
To tell you the truth, finding my self can survive here for months is something surprised me.
How could I survive for such long? while pieces of my heart keep asking
’DO I LOVE THIS JOB’?
Is it my choice or is it destiny that I create?
Is it my choice to be a civil servant who was placed somewhere I even couldn’t figure out what it would be like?
Sometimes I think that I want run away from here…
Leaving this job…
Back to my life like a years before.
Even after I had known that by being a civil servant, I can live in such a comfort retire zone, I still want to quit.
But, I just don’t get comfort with everything around me here
Moreover, it will never be easy as I reckon.
I’ve been thinking it over and over.
U might think that I’m such a person who prior a comfort above all...
But
Drift back to my life several years ago and recollect what I’ve been through,
I pondered my self a question:
‘HAD THE CHANGE BEEN TOO SUDDEN’?
Seems like I’m pacing an unknown road…
Seems like I’m having a sharp pain in my stomach from something that I myself don’t know what it is like…
Fear?
Doubt?
or what???
I don’t know what I fear about, doubt of what?
And unfortunately, the more I try to figure that things out, the more I feel clueless.
Or maybe one thing we should do is stop figuring out the things?
Just let it flow?
Many things shove me to be stuck here, and I have to deal with that.
Sometimes I call my self a kind of person who doesn’t know how to gratify for what I have now.
It is such a great bless in my life, though.
It’s worthy for my life somehow…
I got the clear view and realized that every single thing that God has been planned for me in my entire life is sure blessing in disguise
Maybe our brain is too tiny to understand all the God plan?